Today I presented the WITS project to all the branch heads, including Carmo and SMTI Comd. They said that the idea is a very good one but they were concerned about sustainability: what will happen when I’m gone? I told them that they could always hire me back as a consultant and that joke was rather well-received. They were quite excited and every one of them came up with possibilities for their branch.
Unfortunately I didn’t win Gold, I only won silver which means I don’t get to present, but I have to do a poster. Also we won $320… how much of that $320 is mine will have to be seen.
This WITS project was supposed to be my ticket to recognition. I’m not sure what chance I have now with “only” a silver. I am meeting Maj Susan on Wednesday and I will see what she says… hopefully there’s still a chance of progressing.
The iDA group has now only Rahman and me. Gabriel is trying to hang on but he has commitment issues. Putting that aside, I’m not sure where this group is going. Will I have to be labouring for months, years, with nothing to show for it? We need big wins–we need to be doing something different. The idea Rahman had is to be a community that ties everyone together. That of course raises the questions: what kind of community? and what will this community do? and I have not been able to get a satisfactory answer from them yet.
My teaching the kids at Ulu Pandan is still continuing week by week but what am I doing? The idea was to start my own Python thing but I’ve been teaching them for so long and in any case, this is just me being subsumed into something that others have started…
All three of my projects seem to have come to a halt. I have to come up with new ideas, new initiatives that I can push. But these three projects are sapping my time and energy and giving me nothing in return. It is like an enormous ball and chain is tied to me and I cannot run with all of this accumulated deadweight.
Here are some more things that I have to worry about: